Wednesday, April 18, 2012

04-13-12; Gang Green

Last night I had this horrible dream. I think we were in World War 3. I was in a camp with other people who had survived the most recent bombings. I was being treated for a leg injury by two local doctors. All of a sudden, my leg started turning green and bubbling up. I was TERRIFIED of losing my leg. I went limping through town to find the nearest doctor, but both of them blew me off. I decided to return to my old house in Mio from when I was about six years old. We used to live at 300 Deyarmond Street in Mio. I walked in and found my mom and my sister sitting there. I showed them my leg and I decided to go to the emergency room. I walked there and found it empty, all but one woman (who I recognized from my current job at the library). She took a look at my leg and got frantic because I had not come to her sooner. In truth, I did not know she was a doctor. She began washing my leg with some sort of medical liquid and the green started disappearing. I was so relieved! I went back to my house but we were under attack again. I hid inside a closet, but when I was trying to get out of the closet, I accidentally scraped my leg and the gang green was returning. The doctors said they were going to have to cut it off. I was so scared and I cried and cried. Since I was little, I have always feared losing a limb to gang green.

4-8-12; baby??

In this dream, I was pregnant. Now, I am not saying it isn't a possibility, but it is highly unlikely. I was trying to hide my pregnancy from my boyfriend. I decided to move to Texas, where no one would know me. I had all of these maternal instincts though, and for some reason I just HAD to check on my sister before I left. I drove to Mio and she saw me and at once knew I was pregnant. I was so happy that she knew, but I made her vow not to tell anyone. I wanted to be the girl who went away. I drove and drove until I reached Texas. I remember finding an ocean view dock and sitting there. I had no plans, no money, no job, and no cares. I was on my own, except for the baby. I think I would have named her Marabella (I don't even like that name in real life)

04-01-12; Murder

This dream was particularly terrifying. I am sleeping at my boyfriend's house alone in the woods. The neighborhood is quiet, yet populated. In my dream, someone was trying to come into the house through the front door. They were either a burgalar, a rapist or a murdered, I am not sure. All I knew was that my life was in danger. I laid in bed frozen, weighing my options. I could play dead, but that probably would not work. I could agree to have sex with him just so I wouldn't get raped (ew). I could hide under the bed..but my car is in the driveway and they would probably figure it out. I could get up in the top bunk bed and try to hide under the mattress, but that didn't seem feasible. I could try to hide in the shower, but it had glass doors. Finally, I decided that if he were to get the door open, I would have to run out the back door at the same time. But which neighbor should I go to? There is an old lady next door, but she probably would not be much help. There is an old man and his wife across the street, but would they hear me banging on the door? I was convinced that the neighbor to my right was the one trying to get in. Also, my cell phone had no service so I couldn't call 911. Not to mention, the house is out in the sticks and they would probably never get there in time.
So I decided I needed a weapon to defend myself. My boyfriend had a .22 shot gun near the door..but I couldn't remember where he kept the bullets. I could try to hold it up just to scare the intruder away, but he probably had a gun too. I could run to the kitchen for a knife, but I was blanking on where my boyfriend kept the big huge knives. If only I had my pepper spray, but I had left it in my car, which was locked. Finally, I chose the aluminum baseball bat sitting in the corner of the house. As I got up to retreieve it, my cat jumped up at the door and pulled the curtain back, revealing the intruder's identity: it was just a shadow. 
I woke up and could not sleep for the rest of the night. I was convinced that someone was trying to get me. I listened for any sound that would detect an intruder. The next morning, I asked my boyfriend to buy some bullets for his gun.

3-29-12; Injury

In this dream, I was paralyzed. I could not move, but I was aware of everything going on around me. My cat was licking my arm, I was in bed, it was thunderstorming. But I could not move. I was trapped and suffocating. I woke up just before the door to my house swung open. I still don't know who was opening the door..someone to save me? The master of death? 

3-22-12; If I Die Young

We have all heard the song "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry.
This dream was extremely sad for me. My mom had recovered from cancer and we were celebrating by running a 5k together. Suddenly, she dropped to ground and died. I screamed for help and cried and felt utterly shattered.
For her funeral, we put her into a wooden canoe and floated her away down the AuSable river. I remember thinking "they put the wrong shade of lipstick on her".
I was afraid to go back to sleep.

3-18-12; God

In this dream, I was standing in a yellow room full of light. It was as if I was dead. I was screaming at the top of my lungs "is God real?" I received no answer.. But in my heart, I knew he was. 
I woke up thinking: God doesn't owe me an answer, I owe him the hard work to figure it out myself

03-10-12

In this dream, I was driving in the car with my McNair mentor. We were going to his house for a BBQ. Suddenly, we ended up at my high school band room and got into a huge argument. I walked home to my old house on Frick Street and refused to come out of my room